I took a hard step today. I tried something new, and it was ok.
Life has been hard lately. Gabe & I have been climbing up a mountain, stumbling the entire way to the top.
We were hoping that 2011 would be a new year, a brand new start. 2010 ended badly for us. December was one of the hardest months I've ever lived through.
Gabe and I have been married almost 4 years. We dated for 2 years before that. We had been trying to conceive for 3 years, eager to start a family. We were having trouble getting pregnant, so we went to the doctor and did all of the AWFUL tests to see if there was a problem. Then... miracles of miracles, the strip turned to a plus... we were pregnant!! I have never been so happy in my entire life. I was so filled with joy that I thought I was going to burst! I tried my hardest to do everything right... changed my eating habits, lifestyle.
Then came December... I was so thankful for the little gift that was coming!
Gabe's birthday is Dec 8th... it was during the week, so we didn't get to celebrate. We were going to wait for the weekend. On Dec 9th I had a dr's apt & everything was going great. But then that evening... that evening I had the worst experience of my life. Long horrible story short, I spent the entire night in the ER and lost my baby. We were devestated.
A week later Gabe was laid off from his job...
A month after that I was informed that my teaching job was being cut the following year due to funding...
One of our cars died... our other car had a flat- and a flat spare...
I got very sick and the doctor couldn't figure out what it was (stress?!)
Not to mention the depression... anger... stages of grief...
But we clung together. We grew together... we suffered together.
So now here we are... 2 months later trying to cope and put our life back together.
So when I say that I took a first step and tried something new... it is a good thing. A very good thing. I tried something new and it made me smile.
